


Comfort

by lepidolite



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-01
Updated: 2012-09-01
Packaged: 2017-11-13 07:46:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/501136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lepidolite/pseuds/lepidolite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Between the scenes of 4X07,  Gwen lets Merlin know that he doesn't need to suffer in silence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Comfort

Gwen hesitated at the door of Gaius’ workroom. Her hands fidgeted in her sleeves, teeth catching at the inside of her bottom lip.  It was a long while before she made her decision and carefully opened the door.

 

The first thing she noticed was that it was almost silent. Gaius’ rooms were always usually filled with some sort of sound during the day; patients being tended to, concoctions bubbling on every available surface, that lute that Gaius was surprisingly adept at playing (but only would when he was tipsy), the muffled sounds of Merlin being berated with the surprisingly soundproof door only letting out a vague suggestion of what is being said. It seemed so … _wrong_ for it to be quiet.

 

The second thing she noticed was the way that the desperate hope in Merlin’s eyes died as soon as he saw that it was her.

 

He looked away.

 

“I thought you were him.” His voice was quiet.

 

Gwen felt her heart, just as quietly, break for him.

 

She moved to his side, dropping down to sit beside him. Her hand rested on his shoulder, thumb rubbing in soft circles, a small show of comfort that she wasn’t quite sure would be accepted.

 

“Agravaine’s behind this,” Merlin said abruptly. “He’s done something to Gaius.”

 

His head was shaking almost unconsciously, like he couldn’t even begin to believe that Gaius would leave him, not like that. Merlin resumed fidgeting with papers spread over the ground in front of him, subtly jostling Gwen‘s hand from his shoulder. It fell to her lap. The papers were written in a tongue she didn’t understand, but she didn’t even look at them; her eyes were trained on Merlin’s face. The concern and sympathy was evident in her expression.

 

“Arthur told me what you said.”

 

( _Arthur had come straight to her after his meeting with Agravaine and Merlin looking as if a place inside of him that he had believed to be solid as a battlement had crumbled, leaving him vulnerable._

_She had held his hand as they sat in her tiny, comfortable home, and he had spent almost the whole time he was speaking staring at where their fingers were laced together._

_She knew that there were so few that Arthur truly trusted and cared for. Usually he could spread the burden of his thoughts amongst them, so that his weight to carry didn’t overcome him, but now, with two closest to him in direct contention and another presumed traitor, the task fell to Guinevere to help hold him up. It was not a chore._

_He was silent for a moment more. Eventually, he spoke._

_“Gaius has been there for my whole life, Gwen. Always by my father’s side._ Loyal. _And Merlin, for all that he couldn’t locate his own arse without two hands and a map, I actually…_ care _what he thinks. But Agravaine is my_ uncle _. He’s the only family I have left--”_

_Gwen refrained from mentioning Morgana. As far as she (and the rest of his friends) were concerned, as soon as she broke Arthur’s heart, she was no longer family._

_“--and if I can’t trust him, who can I?”_

_Gwen squeezed his slightly clammy hand in hers._

_“There are many that would rather give up their own lives than betray you, Arthur. Never forget that.”)_

“He won’t listen to me.” Merlin’s tone was brisk, watery. He didn’t look up at her,  ostensibly engrossed in the papers he was cleaning up. It didn’t fool Gwen. It was obvious that he was doing it just to try and distract himself from this conversation, from this situation, from the things that Arthur had said and everything in between.

 

“I’ll do what I can, but,” she looked away from him, remembering her and Arthur’s conversation, “Agravaine’s his uncle, he trusts him more than anyone.”

 

Gwen raised her head again and caught Merlin’s eye. He looked a little surprised that she would speak out about this to Arthur. She was very slightly offended. She had a mind of own, and opinions apart from Arthur’s; why wouldn’t she speak on Gaius’ behalf?  Gwen had known him her whole life, too. She had spent nearly every day in these very rooms for an entire month when her mother was ill, and he had never been anything other than kind to her. __

 

Merlin pauses for a long moment before looking away.

 

“…Yeah.”

 

He sniffed, and returned to his random shuffling of paperwork.

 

Gwen opened her mouth, then closed it, then bit at her lower lip, unsure of how to make this better, at least a little.

 

Merlin sniffled again, louder, an echo of the grief he must have been feeling. It was a small sound, tiny and pathetic and sad. That was what convinced Gwen to act.

 

She shifted even closer to him and slid her arm around his shoulders. He refused to look her in the eye, still fussing with the mess, still acting like his heart wasn’t breaking with worry.

 

“Merlin…” she whispered.

 

Merlin’s expression twisted. His mouth trembled. Gwen brought him in closer. He came easily, his bowed head tucking in the space between her neck and shoulder, his hand grasping tentatively at her sleeve.

 

 There was a long moment when he just was curled in her arms, body trembling. Gwen didn’t move.

 

Then, with a long, quivering sigh, he began to cry.

 

 

 

 

 Eventually, Merlin lifted his head. His sobs had faded, and his breathing had finally became something approaching normal. He looked a little sheepish, still sad, and little grateful.

 

Merlin gave a wet sniff, wiping his nose with his hand. Gwen managed not to wince too obviously.

 

“Sorry. About…” Voice thick and a little hoarse, he gestured at the mess he had made of Gwen’s dress.

 

She gave him a comforting smile. “Don’t worry about it. It’ll wash right out.”

 

There was a short silence, while she tried to think of something else to say. Everything seemed stupid and banal; _are you going to be okay?_ and _everything’s going to be alright_ and _we’ll find him, don’t worry_ , false-sounding words and empty promises. In the end she settled for taking his hand.

 

“Thank you, Gwen.”

 

Merlin didn’t smile, but there was the hint of it in his expression. She accepted it for what it was.

 

She stroked the back of his hand with her thumb for a second, then stood.

 

“Come on, then,” she said, still gentle. “You haven’t eaten all day. Let’s get you fed before you waste away to nothing.”

**Author's Note:**

> Originally done as an answer to kink meme aaages ago, but forgot where the prompt was.


End file.
